I am going to give a lot of tips about this in the next upcoming weeks. They are necessary to have planned prior to an incident happening, and to be able to get out safely. You need to have a “safe” or “trusted” person to whom to confide in to share your plan with. You cannot control when an abusers next violent act will be. So being prepared, and confiding to your “safe” or “trusted” person is very important. Always know that you do not deserve to be treated in a harmful manner ever! I will start with the tips in and around your home.
- Use your best judgement and instincts to protect yourself to make sure you are no longer in danger. Have alternate ways to keep safe if the police do not respond right away.
- Remember-Leaving your abuser is a very dangerous situation!
- If you must, first get a Personal Protective Order or PPO, if you have already left the home, or if your abuser has left the home.
- Inform your neighbors, family and friends co-workers, employer that you have a Personal Protective order in place. If they should see anyone, especially your abuser, around your home, at school, at work, or personal property to call the police right away and record the event.
- Make a record of all calls to the police: their responses, the name of who you talked to, dates, and times of the calls.
- Change the locks on doors, windows, get a security system, and notify neighbors that the abuser is no longer living at your home, and/or is not to be in the area.
- Call the police and report all incidents if your abuser breaks any laws on the Personal Protective Order. Keep copies of your PPO with you at all times. Make extra copies and keep in a place you can show it to law officials at any time. Even when you are out in public.
- If the abuser needs to get his personal property from the home. Pre-pack their items and call the police to get a “civil assist”, let them know of the PPO, and they will accompany them while they get their items from your home.
- Make a decision where you would or could go when you leave your home which is a safe place where you can call for further assistance.
- Notify a neighbor prior to an emergency about the abuse. Have a signal and/or a code word that you both know that will inform them you need help. They can call law officials and know that the abuse is happening and get help right away.
- Know your home exits and the best way to get out in an emergency. Getting out of the home by knowing which doors, windows, stairwells you can exit and get a neighbors attention to call for help or assistance.
- If a situation arises with the abuser, go to the area that provides an exit. Do not go to bathrooms, kitchens, or anywhere your abuser may have any type of weapon to use.
- Inform your children of a plan for them in case they are not with you.
- Inform their schools, daycare, or caregiver who has permission to pick up or be with your child.
- If and when you ever call the police, give your location, speak clearly, and notify them of any weapons the abuser may have, and leave to another location until your home is secure.
I was blessed to have a young neighbor hear me when I fled my home, and he called the police immediately, and I was able to get the assistance I needed to get my abuser out of the home. Locks were changed, everyone was notified, and to this day I am notified if anyone is around my home or personal property. That is how a safety plan is put in place. If they do not know, they won’t be able to help you. For more information, go to Me Too No More.